I am 40 this week. I’m not proclaiming this because I need everybody to wish me a happy birthday through social media. (Although, that’s an added bonus.) This is a milestone for me and it’s a big one. And for me, turning 40 isn’t about feeling old, it’s about what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown, especially since turning 30.

I get irritated by people saying “40 is the new 30.” I don’t want be 30. I’m 40 and that’s fine with me. Of course, 40 is different than it was 50 years ago but the number of years lived is the same. I’m happy to be a mature, adult woman. That alone is an achievement. I’m proud of who I am. And I’ve come to realize what really matters to me—and what doesn’t.

No longer do I worry about what people think of me, how they will see me, and whether what I’m doing makes them happy. Reaching 40 hasn’t made me insensitive. It’s made me realize that I can’t please everyone and if pleasing someone makes me miserable, it’s not worth it.

As a busy working woman who is 40, I have made myself a priority. And that’s a huge milestone to celebrate because I’m no good to the people I love if I’m not healthy and happy—and I deserve to be happy.

So, I learned a lot in my 30s. It was a good decade—a great one actually. But even with all my growth and getting my priorities straight, I still have some work to do and that’s okay. That’s what my 40s are for.